March 22, 2018

Thoughts On A Thursday: The Struggle is Real

S t r u g g l e. We all have it at one time or another. Some are better than others at hiding their struggle and pretending everything is okay. In the past I admit I judged those people. You know, the ones posting happy joyous things about their lives when you know FIRST HAND they are struggling with insecurities. The ones bragging about their husbands bringing them gifts back from long trips when you know they fought the entire time apart. Bloggers who post I'M DOING SO GREAT AND EVERYONE LOVES me posts to make them feel better when you are well aware they are beyond scared of being alone. People who only share the highlight reel, without EVER mentioning the tough, long hours it took to build their life. Yeah, those people...I judged them and I judged them HARD.

Which looking back was 1] SO NOT MY BUSINESS (even if I was invited to be part of the drama) 2] Not my place because I'd never walked a mile in their shoes. Interesting how quickly PERSPECTIVE changes when one experiences struggle upon struggle in their own life. Not saying I've never struggled before this move, because that is completely false. There was sickness, fear, job dramas, and fights that happened back in Virginia. However the struggle has been REAL the past two years. Real and serious. Real and HARD. Real and something I go back and forth on truly sharing.

I've mentioned my lack of wanting to share things here because of people in my past cheering against me. I know it happens and now I'm all like || WHATEVER || about it. They won't change because of me so why waste my thoughts and time on them? Also, I do my BEST to be 100% real and authentic here. Will I share every detail of my life? Nope, not how I roll. However, my goal with this blog is to chronicle my TRUE life and to be relatable if possible. So, you might have notice silence here and it was because I didn't know what to write since life has been such a struggle lately.

Work life. Wow, what can I say about work life I haven't already said? Personal training is so hard because people don't seem to value their health enough to invest in someone who knows what they are doing. People are willing to put money down for products upon things upon makeup but a personal trainer is a waste. So, people love my classes but won't put money down to actually change their lives. Which means peanuts coming in every two weeks. So few peanuts I've gone out and gotten a second job until my BIG GIRL job clearance comes through. Which means my days are filled teaching more classes than I expected and being pretty dunzo when I get home. Speaking of home....

Renovation life. Ugh. This whole process is so not my jam and doing everything ourselves means while things are CHEAPER everything takes so much longer than planned. The master bathroom is SO close to being done, so close. But still, it's not done. Tile is down, I can SHOWER at home with hot water and everything is painted which is all praise hands but it's still not done. Neither is the kitchen. And the constant chaos at home has pushed me to my limits. When my life is chaotic I NEED peace at home but there hasn't been peace and order since February. I've done my best to bit my lip, grin and bear it however I'm at my boiling point. Which leads to...

Marriage life. Anyone else think vows should include "In renovation and loss of jobs"? I mean, egad both are such strains on a marriage. I've always known marriage was work. I never grew up thinking things would be easy all the time, nor do I believe I needed someone to complete me. I love my husband and am beyond thankful he is my person for the rest of my life. However, sometimes I just wanna throw up my hands, run away to an island and live alone. Am I the only one here? Maybe, but hey, that's my truth right now. Le Husband and I are opposites which means we deal with things SO differently and when things are TOUGH we just want the other to GET IT OUR WAY. Wanna guess how many times that's happened? If you guessed zero, you get a prize. Navigating through 'love languages' and 'communication styles' isn't fun. Not something to get the blood pumping or bring back that loving feeling. It's work, it's tiring, it's boring yet it's so needed. And we are working on it, so we can be better for each other and for our life down the road.

Why am I sharing this now? To let you know I'm okay. To let you know if you're struggling you are okay. To share something that might help someone else who is dealing with the ughs. What have the past two months taught me? There truly is beauty in the breakdown.

Because through it all I'm grateful. Grateful for a home, some kind of work to pay bills, some money, my health, my husband and the health of my family. Grateful for my easy friends who let me wallow away alone and accept me when I come back later. Grateful to friends here who are willing to REALLY listen when I struggle and who lift me up to get back on track. Grateful for a church family where I feel like I'm home. Grateful that no matter HOW ALONE in this struggle I feel, there are people who can empathize and relate.

Broken isn't bad, as long as you are willing to put the pieces together and try again.

March 21, 2018


planning for my trip to Arizona in April. I cannot wait to see my baby niece. 
praying for our country and our deployed men and women. they have been on my heart recently.
seeing so many sweet expecting announcements. so very happy for my darling friends. 
making avocado toast with eggs. so delicious. 
pretending it's summer. this cold weather is for the birds!
believing in the beauty of Easter Sunday. #cometothecross
renovating still. ugh, y'all, just UGH!!!!!
loving all the baby videos my sister is sending. CANT.GET.ENOUGH!
wearing sweats, workout clothes and my personal training uniform. 
anticipating audition results next month. EEEEEEEEEEK!

March 16, 2018

Weekly Wins {The Ides of March}


Hello, sweet sweet Friday. I have been looking for you all week and am so happy to see you now. This week has been a DOOOOOOZY if there ever was a doozy of a week and I can't wait for the weekend. While it was a busy week there were still some wins to celebrate. 

|| I'm still on a high from my incredible girls weekend with Lynn and Jess. Blog friendships bring me so much happiness and hope and I wish the same for all the blog friends out there. I hope you get blates, because they are just the bestest. 

|| My local friends have been a saving grace during this trying time of life. I'm beyond grateful. 

|| Daddy hopped a flight out to see his lil grand baby and look at this sweet picture. 


|| Somehow I managed to keep from having anything scheduled Friday morning and I'm so thrilled to get some much needed sleep. Early mornings are not my jam anymore, ha!

|| Le Husband gets home today after traveling for 11 days. Been a long couple of days I tell ya.

Wish you the BEST weekend, friends. 

March 12, 2018

Girls Weekend: Blate of a Lifetime #norules

Finally! After years of texting about it. After a failed attempt in 2017. After combing through tons of weekends it finally happened. The long awaited blate with Lynn from Dispositive Motion and Jess formerly of The Newly happened

Thursday: After my SPRINT class I drove to Chattanooga to pick up my girl, Lynn. We spent the drive home catching up on lives and talking about the fun we couldn't wait to experience. Even though we hadn't seen each other in a year everything felt so natural and easy, which is of course, THE BEST!

Friday: Lynn and I were up early to attend a BODYPUMP class together. The instructor was kind enough to let me teach a few tracks so I could showcase my skills [ha] aka let her see what I do during class. It was a blast and then it was time to clean up to head south to meet Jess. 

We had an easy journey, but poor Jess did not. So we grabbed lunch to wait for her and then it was finally time for the reunion. Gah, our hug was the best. Anyone who's been on a blate knows the beauty of the first hug. We stayed at the OMNI in downtown Atlanta because I get a employee rate and it was such a great spacious room. Once we were all checked in it was time to break out the mini bottles of champs I brought and just be girls chatting. The three of us together just meshed so quickly it felt like a reunion of college besties. Girl talk was continued as we got ready for dinner and can I just say, getting ready with multiple girls is SO MUCH FUN! I love, love, love it.
Elevator selfie because BLOGGING!
Jess picked out a delicious place called Murphy's for dinner and we had to hop into an uber to get there. It was a hilarious ride because our driver thought we were the funniest people [must have been the champagne]. Dinner was full of drinks, delicious upon delicious food, all the stories and inside jokes and of course a fun picture or two.

Our next stop was the Sky View right across from our hotel. Tickets gave us four time around and some pretty fabulous views, too. If you watched our Instagram stories sorry about the loudness. Three gals out on the town after some wine and champagnes aren't really known for being quiet, right? Everyone was ready for better afterwards so we headed back to the hotel to change into the jammies and continue the chats.

Saturday Morning was a leisurely wake up and then we headed downstairs to get coffee [where we saw some Harlem Globetrotters] before walking to the spa for our massages.

We all treated ourselves to a relaxing 80 minute massage which was absolutely glorious. So needed on all accounts and just nice to be still and quiet while getting the muscles worked. There was also an awesome sauna which helped relax the body too. Putting the phone down and just relaxing was what I really needed. 

Lunch was at Bar Taco which was the coooooolest taco place. The vibe was so fun, the food so fresh, the margaritas so tasty and they even had a SECRET TACO. Once the food was done we just sat together laughing and enjoying company.

Too soon it was time for our beautiful Jess to head back home to her lovely family. So many hugs and pictures later we waved goodbye to our dear friend and then headed back to the room for nap. 

Lynn and I walked around the area around the hotel trying to decide what we wanted for dinner and somehow ended back in the hotel restaurant. Dinner was super delicious and then we decided to head to Walgreens for some beauty products. We did masks, watched Spring Bakeoff and then fell asleep.

Sunday: Daylight savings wasn't too big of a problem for us since we slept in as long as we needed/wanted. Coffee time happened and then we ate at a delicious pizza restaurant for lunch. Luckily getting the car out of valet wasn't too terrible and traffic to the airport was a breeze.

I must say, the Atlanta airport is a trip and the construction made the drop-off a bit longer than expected but I didn't mind the extra time with Lynn. And then suddenly, she was walking through the gates to the airport and I was making my way back north to Tennessee. Everyone made it home safely and it was back to life, back to reality all too quick. 

My heart is BEYOND full after this weekend. B E Y O N D! God brought these two women into my life five years ago via this blog and I am so incredibly thankful for their friendship. People still don't understand blogging and trying to explain how we became friends will never be easy, but these girls have become two of my bestest friends. Everything started as comments, then emails, then texts, then phone calls and then they became my people. Who pour into me. Who tell me it will be okay when things get hard. Who I pray for daily. Who pray for me. Who help me be a better person. Who will cry with me or giggle with me depending on what I need. And I do the same for them. Hopefully this will become a yearly meet up and I can't put into words how grateful I am for this past weekend. Until then, #illneverletgojack

March 9, 2018

Weekly Wins: The One With A Baby And The Besties

Hey party people! How are you? Super excited for Friday, right? I am beyonnnnnnnnnnd excited for today, but first my post! Short and sweet post for y'all today, but my two wins are the bees knees.


I MEAN, is she the cutest? Yes, yes she is the most adorable lil girl ever. And I am the most excited auntie in the world. This beautiful angel joined us on Tuesday and SPORTYSPICE was the biggest rockstar through everything [no meds, what!]. Mama B was out there too, so she felt all the love through the whole process. I was able to say hi the evening of her birth and then was able to FaceTime a few times this week. Gah, I'm so excited! SO EXCITED and in love.
My heart has GROWN TWO SIZE!
Continuing the best week ever, my BOFF is in town {!!!} and we are heading further south to meet up with darling Jess of the Newly. This is a blate weekend two years in the making and I can't wait to hug these girls so tight. They are part of my circle of trust and have supported me through so many ups and downs the past few years. We are gonna chill out, enjoy delicious food and have a pampering time together. I AM SOOOOO THRILLED!!!

Wishing you and yours the BEST WEEKEND EVER!

March 8, 2018

TBB: Beauty Edition

Few days late, but oh well. Better late than never, right?

1] Eyelash Curler Yes or No? Nope. I'm blessed with long eyelashes so just need a bit of mascara.

2] Favorite Nail Shade? A deeeeeep dark almost black purple or bright pink.

3] Favorite Lipstick Shade? I switch daily, haha. A nude shimmer or deep purple red.

4] Blow Dry or Air Dry your hair? Blow Dry if I have to go somewhere, but normally Air Dry since I'm usually showering after I teach a class. If it's cold I'll speed up the heating process.

5] Artificial Nails Yes or No? If I had the budget totally would, but nope for the maintenance. 

6] Foundation Yes or No? When I was in an office, daily. Now it's only when I look tired or am dressing up. I also try to adhere to the 5/2 ratio to give my skin a break. 

7] Hair Up or Hair Down? When I get dressed up, down and curled. Daily, usually down then in a braid/ponytail combo when teaching or working out. I want to find a fun workout hairstyle.

8] Bar Soap or Body Wash? Body Wash! But, now really look at ingredients and might switch to soap.

9] Bath or Shower? If I could take a bath everyday I would. I LOVE baths but never have time. I WILL be taking baths every night once our bathroom gets all put together. 
10] Favorite Body Lotion? Call me crazy, but I use Coconut Oil for lotion. 

11] Do you wear perfume? If so, favorite scent? I love perfume. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it. But, Le Husband has NO sense of smell I rarely wear it anymore. I LOVE Black Opium and Givenchy.

12] Do you shave your legs every day? Almost everyday. Hazard of wearing shorts to teach.

13] Favorite Lip Balm? Any chapstick. I must have chapstick.

14] How old were you when you first started wearing makeup? We received play make up for Christmas when I was eight years old and we were only allowed to wear it at home. Sometimes Mama B would make us up for special occasions, but we weren't allowed to wear it to school until high school.

March 7, 2018

Auditions Rocked & Weather Ruined Plans


The word to describe my weekend. Both amazing and incredulous. Not in the good way, sadly. Despite what the weather aka the CRAZY AF winds blew into town, I was able to enjoy my trip home. Oh and I rocked the auditions which was such an amazing feeling.

Trip details:

+ Drove up to DC from Knoxville with two of my besties who also auditioned. It was a nice and easy trip, with lots of laughs and texts along the way. Everything was hunky dory until route 66.

+ Daddy called me and relayed the news the CRAZY AF winds had downed a power line on our street, so not only were we out of power, there was no way to get up the street to the house because the lines were down. Have I mentioned we live on a culdesac?

+ The girls and I were able to get a hotel on points close to the city which was awesome. I felt so bad for Daddy, but he pulled together a generator and was completely fine, so he said.

+ Saturday we were up early for auditions. All three of us are early birds and arrived an hour early to get the lay of the land. BODYPUMP was the first audition and there were eight of us audition. The president of LMUS was there so we all had a starstruck moment when he let us know about the day. #allthehearteyes

+ BODYPUMP auditions went really well and I was super proud of what I did. Everyone was told to have more space between their coaching. I was told even though I was petite I looked strong and have a commanding voice!!! Talk about a major pump up, so thrilled. My friends did really well, too.

+ While my friends auditioned for BODYSTEP I was in the cycle room auditioning for SPRINT. I did really well with this audition, talked a bit too much but I was nervous, however I really felt I did the best I could techniquewise which is huge. The feedback was incredible, again and I was thrilled with everything I learned.

+ Once we were done with auditions we chilled out for a bit, then went and ATE ALL THE THINGS. Chicken and waffles was my choice of deliciousness and it was divine. The girls headed west to drive home on Sunday and I headed down to see Daddy.

+ Power was still off but we chilled out until leaving to go to dinner with Babyspice. We hit up our usual watering hole and it was deliciously fun to be together. Thankfully when we got home the power was on, even though no Internet, so we watched movies until bedtime.

+ Sunday I met up with two darling friends and enjoyed catching up on life. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful people to work their plans around me. Then it was family dinner, more movies and then bed. I woke up early for the drive home on Monday and it was a quick, but long, eight hours home.

+ This weekend was SUCH a meaningful one. I learned so much about the company, so much about myself and so much about how well I'm actually doing. I'm not saying it to be conceited, but to make it THIS FAR IS SUPER HUGE. I don't find out results until mid April, but I'm thankful I don't have to worry about my part. What is decided is out of my hands and I showed them my best. THat's all i can ask for right?